I am what I am

“I am what I am” (我) is a song originally covered by Leslie Cheung (张国荣).

It’s one of the Chinese cultural icons, particularly because of the sentimental lyrics.

I am what I am

I always love how I am

The happiness is… There is more than one way to be happy

It is the most honoured that everyone is the glory of the Creator

No need to hide. I live for the life I like

No need to sugarcoat, I stand at the corner of the bright

I am what I am. I am the fireworks with a different colour

As open as the sky, as wide as the sea, I will be the strongest bubble

I like myself. Let the rose blossom a result

Lonely in the desert, the unleashing is still compelling

It’s such a delight, to live happily in the glass house

Speak to the world, what brightness and the orthodoxy are

I am what I am. I am the fireworks with a different colour

As open as the sky, as wide as the sea, I will be the strongest bubble

I like myself. Let the rose blossom a result

Lonely in the desert, the unleashing is still compelling

I am what I am is the most famous song of this classic reputed artist. It becomes even more emotional provoking after Leslie’s tragic suicide.

I don’t have as many attachments to Leslie as many people because I haven’t lived in his decade, but I was deeply attracted by this song for the first time I heard it. That’s also why I was also very irritated by another cover Tien Chong did on the stage of Singer .

As many detractors, I disliked this performance because they completely changed the tone. Someone says it’s as if singing Gong Xi Fa Cai (Wish You Prosperity) in a funeral.

However after a few years, I found that now I have put up a new lens. I recently came across Tien Chong’s version again, and I started wondering why I was so exclusive in the past. I started to wonder, since this song sings for the pride of being oneself, why can’t Tien Chong just be happy? I struggled a few days and came to this conclusion: she chose a wrong song. On one hand, she has all the rights and rationales to be her true self, but on the other hand, the song she chose has a much more profound connotation from which many people have their faith.

After the show was played on TV, the mockery to Tien Chong has never stopped. In the video that I recently came across, a number of people are still making fun of her expression of happiness. I see this as a grand tragedy. Being an Asian born in the western country, I believe Tien Chong is more qualified than many of us to sing for being underrepresented. As how diverse as the world is, the reaction to being a minority should also be diverse. Bittersweet is not just bitter, nor is it just sweet. In this regard, if being happy is Tien Chong’s way of herself, what’s her guilt?

Finding ourselves was once hard for me when I opened my eyes and saw the big world. I think it could possibly be even harder for some of the people who grow in a culture but seemingly look different. It’s really sad to realize the laughter actually attacks other people’s ego, and I suddenly regret that I used to be one of those.

This is really an unfortunate cultural divergence, and it suddenly made me understand a statement in The Dark Forest more. I don’t remember the exact quote. It is around the time Blue Space won the war and became the survivor into the deep universe. The author wrote Blue Space would have their own problems to solve. Of course the human beings on Blue Space would continue to live, but they would not be human anymore.

I am what I am? That’s really interesting.

The original Chinese version (Mandarin)

我 张国荣

I am what I am

我永远都爱这样的我

快乐是　快乐的方式不只一种

最荣幸是　谁都是造物者的光荣

不用闪躲　为我喜欢的生活而活

不用粉墨　就站在光明的角落

我就是我　是颜色不一样的烟火

天空海阔　要做最坚强的泡沫

我喜欢我　让蔷薇开出一种结果

孤独的沙漠里　一样盛放的赤裸裸

多么高兴　在琉璃屋中快乐生活

对世界说　什么是光明和磊落

我就是我　是颜色不一样的烟火

天空海阔 　要做最坚强的泡沫

我喜欢我　让蔷薇开出一种结果

孤独的沙漠里　一样盛放的赤裸裸