Thoughts about the Dursleys

To practice Thai language, I start reading Harry Potter one more time, after probably nearly 20 years since I firstly read it. With all the experience that I have gained, an interesting thought about the Dursley family strikes me, while I even thought about it twice if it’s really sensible.

I suppose there is no doubt that most of us see the Dursleys as at least negative figures, if not bad guys. They treated Harry with no compassion as if Harry is just a trash to them. For that, I never change my mind that they don’t deserve any forgiveness.

However, this time when I read Harry Potter again, I start thinking that being ordinary is the life that the Dursleys choose. Everyone has their right to choose their life, either it’s going to be great life that brights up the world or miserable life which put themselves into endless trouble, as long as the people who choose their path is happy and it doesn’t harm other people’s life, that is their right. It looks like that the Dursley would just be an ordinary and boring family if Harry were not there. Of course the way they raise their child brings about a problematic teenager, and that harms the school and possibly society in the future, but from a higher holistic view, the Dursley family wouldn’t be too wrong or too outstanding. The presence of Harry changed everything.

I acknowledge that there is a (or many) flaw in Dursleys. What I thought is that they might just stay quietly, but Harry is the amplifier for their flaws, which triggers their anti-social behaviour again and again. In other words, the Dursleys might just be a Karen family without Harry, but with Harry, they become monsters. From this perspective, the Dursleys is unlucky. They loses their rights to live in a way that they want.

When I had this thought, I start to question myself. Why am I showing empathy to those guys? Do those people deserve any empathy?

Later I gave it deeper thoughts. I don’t think my perspective is wrong. In that sense, I still think the Dursleys are unlucky by getting Harry Potter at their hands, and hence their rights to live their wanted life are deprived. But on another hand, the life is always full of unexpected random events. Arguably the presence of Harry Potter is an unlucky event to the Dursleys, but there are more than one way to deal with this event. It is the Dursleys’ choice which makes them falter into the monstrous situation.

For example, the arrival of Harry could also be a turning point to re-assemble the falling parts of Aunt Petunia’s heart because of her envy in Lily’s magical power. Living with Harry day by day could be an opportunity for her to re-evaluate her thoughts and decisions in the past, when she is more grown than before. This could lead to a different perspective where she comes to understand that her distance with her sister isn’t her sister’s fault. That might help her forgive her sister, and forgive herself.

However, as we all know, that is not the plot of Aunt Petunia. The Dursleys family is just bound with their own formed mind and the dream of the middle class. All they care is to live a good, and by all means better than others, life. They have no intention to care about the effect of their choice, and this is the determining factor which ruins their life.

The Harry Potter story loves to tell that one’s choice is more important than their origin. I truly believe it too. Life forces us to make many choices. Sometimes we are lucky, and sometimes we are not lucky. A good choice can change unlucky event to lucky event, and a bad choice and turn lucky event into unlucky event too. It is not always easy to make the right decision, but we ultimately choose what we want to be. The Dursleys choose to be monsters, and I don’t give them my pity, even though I think they are unlucky. This is a reminder to myself too. When standing at the cross of the life, surrounded by the fear for the future and change, it is always important to consider who we want to grown into.