Melancholy

In recent a few weeks, I am not very well. I am in a strange state. I feel I know where this comes from, but it is such a small thing. I only find out now that it matters so much to me.

To be honest, it really affects my mood, and perhaps some people around me has noticed some difference as well. As I want to tell myself it doesn’t matter, or I should just go around with it, after serious thought, I decide to fight back next time, as it is a matter to me.

I guess one of my problems is my tendency of sacrificing myself to please others. As I assume good intention of everyone, I need to take repeated discomfort of myself into considerations. After all, I live for myself.

Perhaps a few readers of this blog will wonder if this is related to you. Let me assure you. The relevant one is not a potential reader of my blog. If you are reading this, don’t worry about anything, and I request you to not ask me about it either. Please give me some time to adjust.

When this happens, I even think it’s kind of a bad luck, and I happen to experience a couple of unlucky things recently too. I would like to conclude them as coincidence, as I believe our selection matters the most amidst all good and bad sides, and I always choose to believe in hope and faith.

This is not the hill where I die. Once I am over it, I am stronger than today.